Acting in the Office: Why I’m Living a Double Life

False Kiva, at Canyonlands National Park; Moab, Utah (2014)

My situation is simple.  I have a job that I cannot afford to lose…for now.  Once the calendar flips to July I will be putting in my 2 weeks notice to travel the world long term.  I’m not well off by any means, so the steady income in the form of a bi-weekly paycheck is vital to my savings account.  Since deciding to leave my job at the end of July, I have been extremely careful with who I share this information with.  If word got out to my colleagues at work, I would be putting my job and the bloodline into my savings account in jeopardy.   I am also not the type of person to burn bridges, and would love to be able to leave the company on good terms.  

Although I already have one foot out the door, I still must play the role of the “good employee.”  I must seek new challenges.  I must show that I’m interested in taking on more responsibilities, at a time where I am planning to give up almost all of my responsibilities.  I must sit in meetings and discuss plans to launch new initiatives in the Fall of 2017, when I know I will be sitting at a cafe with a pilsner in hand somewhere in Europe during the Fall of 2017.  Further, I cannot link this blog to my social media accounts because co-workers are part of my followers.   

At the moment, there are 114 more days that I have to show up in the office.  Knowing this number helps to keep things in perspective at moments when I feel myself getting stressed at work.  It reminds me to take a deep breath and realize that whatever is causing myself stress at work is just not important in the grand scheme of my life.  It allows me to let it go pretty easily knowing that soon enough, all of this will be in my past and I will be traveling the world.  

So in all, this is a good “problem” to have.  There are plenty of awkward moments, such as a co-worker asking me to keep a date in September open for a road trip.  I know I will be on my own journey, and not being able to be honest makes the situation difficult.  But in a few months, it will feel liberating to get the proverbial monkey off my back.  Until then, I will continue to improve my acting skills while answering emails, sending out reports and participating in the dreaded office meetings.

2/19/17


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